The Twelve Days

Just got home from a crazy three day trip to visit the family in Maryland. It was great to see the relatives again, my cousin's kids are so cute! I'll link pictures here later, but wow are they an amazing bunch of kids. They don't really fuss, at all. we drove up on Tuesday morning, it was a nice relaxing drive, with the rest of my family. I slept a lot, and read a bit and listened to music, it was good. We stayed in a little cheap hotel that was actually fairly nice, despite having no shampoo(I packed light). We had dinner my Aunt and Uncle's house. YUMMY! We stayed there talking and playing Apples to Apples late. My cousin Greg has been gone for the past three years in the Peace Corp, so it was a really fun time talking to him and getting reaquainted with him and meeting his new dog, Moby. Jen and I had our own room at the Hotel and so we stayed up late, oops!! Wednesday was opening presents day. It was so much fun, the kids were hilarious, so fun to watch. After that everybody just did their own thing for a few hours. We had dinner at my Grandparents place, very nice and delicious. It was a good night all around. Today we went to Breakfast at this family-owned farmers market type place, that was good. We spent the morning with the family, ate lunch and played with the kids, then we left. Th ride home was longer than it should have been, we were all grumpy and tired by the end. But it was a great few days... I'm glad to be home though.

Today

watched part of my Christmas present tonight. I've decided that Grey's Anatomy is not to be watched without someone else enjoying it with you. It is too depressing, and emotionally charged for me to be allowed to watch alone. I went to my Doc. appointment today, it was slightly uncomfortable and strange but I did it, finally. I was a little late to work, but got there eventually. We have an ice rink this year, which is fun. I'm going to be working there on Thursday. This is my life, boring normal everyday stuff. I love it, and Hate it all at the same time. I'm in a really weird mood. its not good, I really should get to bed.

Weakness

"I am weak, but the Lord has sought me.I believe but help now my unbelief. I fail and am broken by my continued sinfulness. Have mercy on me, Lord, and grant me favor, for apart from you I can do nothing. Our suffering, our failures,our weaknesses and disappointments all gain an incredible spiritual significance. God never says He'll be glorified in our religious accomplishments. But He does promise that His power will be made perfect in our weakness.(2 Cor 12:9)"

How come this isn't taught more in churches? I haven't heard about this until now. Our weakness makes us more aware of the grace God gives us. I've always thought that as a Christian I have to be strong, not show that I can be wrong or have fault. In order to be a witness to the world I can't show that I am weak, or that I make mistakes. Some bigger than others. How do I over come this ingrained behavior? How do I break down my own walls and show my weaknesses to others? That's a little more vunerability than I'm comfortable in letting people know that much about me, or get that close to me. Last time that didn't turn out so great. To let people get that close, it's not altogether safe. So what do I do?

Intimacy Issues

This makes me laugh.

I love you Mom and Dad. Thank you for your love support and advice, even when sometimes it isn't what I want to hear.

Evanescence

Don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. You want me, Come find me.Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall? Lose it all?So maybe you can remember yourself. Can't keep believing, We're only deceiving ourselves. And I'm sick of the lie, And you're too late.

Don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. You want me, Come find me.Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame. Sick with shame. Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated, No wonder you're jaded. You can't play the victim this time, And you're too late.

Don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. You want me, Come find me.Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober. You only want it cause it's over, It's over.

How could I have burned paradise? How could I - you were never mine.

So don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. Don't lie to me, Just get your things.I've made up your mind.

little bit o' this, little bit o' that

I am bored and stuck inside so I decided to update.

Why am I stuck inside you ask? well, since yesterday there has been an escaped inmate, William Morva, on the loose in Blacksburg. The young man shot and killed a hospital security guard and injured the deputy that had accompanied him. The man hunt lasted through the night and this morning Morva shot and killed a deputy sheriff on the Huckleberry Trail. The police responded instantly, evacuating the area along the trail and trying to keep the media and civilians out of harms way. During the morning the police had people calling in sightings of Morva throught the Blacksburg area. Squires Student Center was evacuated and there was a rumor that Morva was inside, however that was untrue. The campus closed down around 10:30, classes were cancelled and students were urged to return to their dorms and remain inside. This is fairly distressing for the first day of classes and I'm hoping that everything is sorted out soon.

All of this Past

Here I go again Slipping further away Letting go again Of what keeps me in place I like it here But it scares me to death There is nothing here The light is beautiful But I’m darker than light And you are wonderful But this moment is mine All of this dust All of this past All of this over and gone And never coming back All of this forgotten Not by me I find comfort here Cos I know what is lost Hope is always fear For the pain it may cost And I have searched for the reason to go on I’ve tried and I’ve tried But it’s taking me so long I might be better off Closing my eyes And God will come looking for me In time All of this dust All of this past All of this over and gone And never coming back All of this forgotten Not by me All of this dust All of this past All of this over and gone And never coming back All of this forgotten Not by me I can see myself I look peaceful and pale But underneath I can barely inhale I can hear myself singing that song Over and over until it belongs to me

back home for the summer. almost can't belIeve that i am not in school, actually had nightmares about missing the first day of classes because i sLept in. its good to be home, but also hard, sleeping patterns have tO change as do eating habits. its just different. work is work, i'm working 6 days this week and i'm not sure i like it. we were fairly short handed today, so i was moVed around as needed, i spent about 2 hours in the gift store, and about 20 minutEs in the carousel, it wasn't too bad, but the scheduling needs to be better so that there isn't just one person at each station, james had to cover for me twice so that i could cover for other people. it was hectic. sis and i went to the doctor the other daY, we both got acne medication and a good dose of liquid nitrOgen, which hUrt like the devil. i'm going to Bed soon, hopefully i'll be able to wake up early enough to go for a walk/jog before work tomorrow. i wonder if I get payed overtime for working on my day off? that would be nIce. missing my friends from school a lot(that means you!) its going to be a Long summer and then again I can feel the days sLipping away faster than I want them to.

I am really looking forward to the summer. I'm gunna miss people from here a lot, But I am ready to go home.

oh and this is a fun comic

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60th Anniversary

So this past week has been one crazy rollercoaster ride. I went home this weekend for my grandparents 60th anniversary celebration. It was a lot of riding in transportation vehicles for two days but it was great to see everybody. I learned a lot about my grandparents that I didn't know before. I better appreciate them as seperate from just my Grandparents. Its so easy when young to forget or even not to realize that your parents and Grandparents are people outside their role towards you. They had a life so seperate from what it is now you can hardly recognize them as who they are today. They weren't always old and grey haired. I think I understand my Grandpa's sense of humor a little better now, I can look at my Grandma and see a mysterious wonderful woman. I understood all of this before now, but this weekend has just driven it home a little more. I think that its sad that just when I am getting old enough to get to know my grandparents better it might be too late. I love you Paka and Beppe.

'Trust' indicates a depth and a sense of assurance that is based on strong but not logically-conclusive evidence, or based on the character, ability, or truth that someone or something has shown over time or across situations. Trust makes for a sense of being safe or of being free of fear, enough so that one's focus can be on other matters because that matter is taken care of. It becomes easier to simply enjoy life.

No human is totally trustworthy.
No human is totally untrustworthy.
No human can always trust themselves.
No human is totally trusting of any one other person.

Trust is a risk. We leave ourselves open for loss. Betrayal of trust hurts so much because the lost sense of security multiplies the damage.

Ok, so I'm not going to post for a while, not that I do very much anyway. just letting you know. I love you Mommy.

I'm tired, oh so tired. and yet I can't bring myself to go to bed at the moment, so I sit and I write to the unsuspecting cyberworld. I've been trying hard to actually go to classes this semester, I'm doing better. I hope. Its getting cold and I'm getting the Annual sore throat. I swear every year! I end up getting a sore throat. Its just very painful, and dry. Sleep is hard to come by when you can't swallow with out feeling pain. any way thats what I'm doing right now. I can't wait for Spring Break!

Do you Remember?

Think back.

Before the MySpace frenzy.

Before the Internet & text messaging.

Before Sidekicks & iPods.

Before MIKE JONESSS

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.

Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.

Tag.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.

Heads Up 7 Up.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball, even Wallball until your porch light came on.

Hopskotch.

Slip-n-Slides.

Tree Houses.

Mother May I?

Red Rover.

Four Square.

Hula Hoops.

The annoying Nano Pets & Furbies.

Reading R.L. Stine's Goose Bumps.

Playing Street Hockey with the neighborhood friends.

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Running through the sprinklers.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.

Wait.

Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your Garfield comforter.

Hey Arnold.

Doug, Rugrats.

The original Power Rangers

Or what about:

The Secret Life of Alex Mac.

Ren & Stimpy.

Double Dare.

Rocko's Modern Life.

AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.

Space Cases

So Weird

Wild & Crazy Kids.

Magic school bus.

Pinky and the Brain.(Animaniacs

Wishbone.

Bill-nye the science guy.

Clarissa Explains it All.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

The original cast members of All That.

Kenan & Kel.

Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life & I Love Lucy.

Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.

The adventures of winnie the pooh

NINJA TURTLES

Not finished yet.

Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.

Class field trips.

POGS

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.

When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.

When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'

'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'.

It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

Nobody was prettier than Mom.

Nobody was cooler or stronger than Dad.

Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the theme park.

When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

When the Spice Girls were who you wanted to grow up to be.

When Lisa Frank was the raddest thing ever.

When a candy bar at the grocery store was the highlight of your day.

When coupons collected all year could get you a prize in your class auction.

When the only thing you cried over was your mom being late to pick you up.

When stress was addition and subtraction.

When friendships were as complicated as who's house to sleep over and who's to TP

When shaving cream was just meant for play.

When valentines day meant cards for all.

When birthdays were a class event.

When a friend moving away was the saddest day of your life.

If you can remember most or all of these
then you have lived in the 90's! ( or at least were young in the 90's)

Mississippi

Ok, so this past week I went to Moss Point, Mississippi as a mission trip with RUF and MTW. We were originally going to go to Biloxi but the plans changed, practically last minute and we ended up at Moss Point instead. It was a great trip. We left Monday at the Butt Crack before dawn time, 5:00 or so, and drove for 14 hours. When we got to the church, some of the ladies had put out sandwich fixin's. Yummy. Tuesday was our first day on the job, We stripped and reroofed a house in a day and a half. It was fun. I think Stripping is my favorite part of the whole process, we get up there and just go at it with abandon. Wednesday night was pot luck at the church. Honestly the food there was amazing. Four of us sang acappella for them. I sang the tenor line in my range, which was fun. After we played a few games, and just relaxed. Thursday we drove down to Biloxi and worked on a old lady's roof there. This old lady is deaf and her name is Ms. Bossy. Honest to God, she was adorable and funny. We weren't able to finish her roof before we had to leave, another team was going to finish it the next day. Friday, the weather was not cooperative, and so we couldn't do any work, instead we went on a tour of the Hurricane devastated areas. We drove through Waveland, there was nothing left of a lot of the houses there. We stopped in Bay Saint Louis and got out and walked around. There had been another team that went down during Thanksgiving break and worked on a house in Bay Saint Louis. Clyde was our expert roofer on the trip and he had been down there a lot so he gave us a quick tour around old town and the church. It had turned sunny by then and we drove back to Moss Point in sunny drowsiness. When we got back, a few people did some work around the Church and the rest packed and generally got ready to go. Around 4 or so some of the girls convinced JR to take us to the beach, so about 10 or so piled into the 15 passenger and we drove out to the beach. Saturday we left at the Butt Crack before dawn time again and drove for about 15 hours to get home at about 9. That was my Mississippi trip in a nut shell. I loved going and working to help those that needed it. The people that we met where very grateful and supportive, and the people that we helped were as eager to help us as we were to help them. Mrs. Josephine, the lady who owned the first roof that we did, was actually going to buy us lunch one day, we had packed our own so she didn't but she wanted to. It was amazing to see how much these people had lost and yet they wanted to give still of the little that was left.