A quick Movie review

While I enjoy a thriller as much as the next person, there is one thing I find great enjoyment in. Romantic, full force, all out, chick flicks. In Letters to Juliet the promise of great sap and wonderful cliche is answered and then kicked up a notch. And while there is sap and cliche this movie is a wonderful reminder of what people should think about love, and how cynical we have actually become in a world of cyber connections and friend networks. We aren't really connected any more, and LtJ brings forward the idea of strong, long lasting connections.

The film is about a young fact checker for the New Yorker who while on a pre-wedding honeymoon (backwards right?) in Verona, Italy, discovers a 50 year old letter asking Juliet Capulet for relationship advice. Sophie writes a reply which sets events in motion that eventually land her at a wedding on a balcony with a young man climbing the walls to profess his love for her.
This movie brought to mind some of my favorite films. Pride and Prejudice, Ten things I hate about You, and Under the Tuscan Sun were just a few. It also can be said that it borrows parts for the Romeo and Juliet story(DUH) but was less like it that I expected.
While I enjoyed the story line, it was predictable. I enjoyed the scenic views and music of the film much more. If a film has good musical direction I will enjoy it, but here there was an even deeper and more personal connection in the location of this film. Recognizing the streets and piazzas in the film really heightened my ability to visualize the atmosphere more fully. The music was a mix of fun romantic numbers, Italian covers, and orchestral pieces. There was one song that was cute to use and expected, I found that the use of the Taylor Swift "Romeo and Juliet" song in the climax of the movie a little over the top, and unnecessary. If that had been part of the opening credits I would have felt better about it.
All in all this was an enjoyable film. I will be getting the DVD, or possibly seeing it again to catch anything i might have missed the first time. I say see it.

Film: Letters to Juliet
Director: Gary Winick
Writer: Jose Rivera, Tim Sullivan
Cinematographer: Marco Pontecorvo
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Gael García Bernal, Vanessa Redgrave, Christopher Egan
Studio: Applehead Pictures

Waiting on the Shelf

There are some great books out there. One very interesting one, The Mysteries of Harris Burdick, is just a series of images with a title and a short caption. They are very inspirational. This story is based on "Mr. Linden's Library" and the caption reads: He had warned her about the book.Now it was too late.

Sarah had just moved. Across the street there was another house which had a sign that declared “Mr. Linden’s Library: Books to Borrow or Buy.” One day, because she was bored, Sarah decided to visit the old library. Mr. Linden was delighted, and vigorously encouraged her to choose any of the books to take home as a present. Sarah slowly wandered through the rows of shelves, gazing at the multitude of books. Finally her eyes lighted on a beautiful, old, gilded tome. Snatching the book off the shelf, she brought it before the old man.
“What a wonderful book!” Mr. Linden smiled, “but you must be very careful. Interesting events occur if you fall asleep with this book still open.”
“What kind of things?” Sarah queried.
“Well, that depends on the person, but it is always interesting and always terrible.”
At first Sarah was extremely cautious; however, as the nights past without incident she began to believe that Mr. Linden had been teasing her. That night she fell asleep while reading the book. Suddenly the words on the page exploded into the room in a flurry of leaves and vines. The greenery covered Sarah quickly, quietly, and completely. Then slowly, gently the living vines inched the sleeping girl toward the open book. Sarah was never seen again. Her grieving parents donated all her books to the library across the street. The book was placed back on the shelf, and it is there still, patiently waiting for the next careless child.

Shall We Dance?

There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they cant take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they cant take that away from me

We may never never meet again, on that bumpy road to love
But Ill always, always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No they cant take that away from me

Fred Astaire, 1937.

Venezia, "La città di Luce."

Classes have started to pick up, now that we've been here over a month the teachers are full speed ahead. This makes it harder for us students to get out on weekends. I was able to get out though with six other girls to Venice. I'm going to qualify this trip with the fact that I had gotten a killer cold during the week before, and it had developed an ear ache and snore that could wake the dead. So I was eager to leave and give my roommates much needed rest from my loud night noises. We took the train to Chiasso and from there went to Milano. I think all trains that come through the north of Italy stop at the Centrale, as a main hub for train travel. Most of the other groups traveling that weekend were going in the same general direction, but at Milano we parted ways. We transferred to another train that would takes us to Venice. It wasn't too late when we got there, so we walked around a little, and grabbed dinner and some gelato at a shop right by the station. We were staying at a hostel outside of the city and had to take a bus to get out to it. It was more like a camp ground than anything else with trailers and tents set up as rooms. The other girls had booked before I had decided to go, so I had a trailer all to myself. It was nice, warm water, and clean sheets. No towels though. I realized that in the morning, and as I had forgotten my towel,and it was too cold to drip dry I used an extra top sheet instead. We caught the bus back to the city and walked back to the train station. There was a very nice pastry shop that we saw the night before, and we stopped there for some breakfast.
It was a gorgeous day, sunny, almost warm and blue sky. One of the first things I noticed in Venice was the architecture and layout of the city. It jumps out at you at every corner and bridge. The lines of the city have been the same since the 13th century. It can be inspiring to walk through and on that much history. The buildings were all arches and columns and red roofs. Carnivale was only a week ago, so the streets still show the aftermath of confetti. Shops displaying beautiful and unique masks were everywhere. We walked for a while and then grabbed a water taxi heading for the Rialto Bridge. The bridge has shops built into the structure and is part of one of the grandest markets in Venice. It is filled with tourist booths, but also much the produce for the area comes in through that market. There wasn't much going on that day, but it was still nice to walk through. We wandered through the streets, all the while headed toward the Piazza San Marco and the Basilica Patriarcale Di San Marco, the crown jewel of the city.
The streets grew more crowded as we drew closer to our goal. Finally the buildings opened up and we were in the Piazza. It was glorious. We were facing the Basilica with the Campanile di San Marco(the bell tower)to the right. The Piazza was full of people and pigeons! Feeding the pigeons has become a tourist activity, and the birds have no fear. The Basilica was resplendent, mosaics and statues cover the facade and the walls are beautifully made of different color marble. You can see the progression of art and time even here, where flat Byzantine mosaics are just an alcove away from rich Renaissance scenes. Inside the ceiling is gold, glittering, representing heaven. Pictures aren't really encouraged, but we take a few hasty shots. I really enjoy how almost every inch of space is decorated, it is a sharp contrast to the stark and bare churches that I was used to at home. Beside the Basilica is the Doge's Palace, a impressive white building with a patterned marble façade. The bell tower was our next stop, the view was incredible. We could see the whole of the city laid out beneath us, and the lagoon as well. We ate lunch, and then wended our way through the streets and canals to the Peggy Guggenheim Collection. Most of her collection was Pollack and Picasso, modern sculpture, all beautifully displayed. I am not usually a fan of modern art, with the attitude that if I can do it (I'm hardly artistic) then it really isn't challenging art, but this collection was a lot of fun to walk through. Even the court yard was filled with sculptures and instillation pieces that were just fun to look at.

The next day we returned to the Market at Rialto and experienced market day. The place was packed with tourists and Venetians purchasing food and goods for the coming week. We wandered down the rows of booths, inspecting the fresh fish and looking over the produce laid out for us to eat. I sad that I couldn't smell all that food, but then considering the fish, I was also grateful for the handicap. After getting our fill of the market and making a few purchases, we caught a water taxi to a near by island, Murano. This place is distinguished for its glass making, and we were able to wander around the island looking at the art on display, both for sale and for show, and just relax. The houses there were very colorful, with brightly painted exteriors. By this time most of us were exhausted, and decided to go back, eat dinner and then return to the hostel. Two girls stayed to do some more shopping, but I was not one of them.

The next day we ate a quick breakfast and boarded the train home. It was a quiet ride back with out much happening. In Milano we again met up with some of the other groups making their way back to the Villa. Venice was really a great place to visit, I probably could have spent more time there, just getting lost and finding new and old things to look at. I enjoyed it very much. Up next is the Southern Trip, a great many things in a short amount of time. Then spring break, Oh boy am I looking forward to that.

Music, Masks, and Mayhem

Carnevale......
Wow what a ride. Carnevale can be considered the Mardi Gras of Europe. It is a celebration of life the week before Lent, people dress up, wear masks and generally let anything go. For the most part everyone from the Villa stayed in the area for Carnevale, there was a very cheap deal that allowed us to ride the trains and get into the festivities for about 15 CHF. The main party area was in Bellinzona, about 30 minutes away. It started on Thursday with a parade, each town has its own way of starting off. The parade in Riva was small but fun, all the school kids from middle and elementary school in the town, dressed up in costumes that they made themselves walked through the street to the main piazza. There was a band and lots of people. It was actually kind of weird, because even after living here for a month we hardly ever saw that many people, let alone that many children. We threw so much confetti, it got everywhere. In fact I don't think that it ever really got cleaned up. The festival continued every night for that weekend. Bellinzona shut down the downtown in order to accomodate the celebration. They set up tents in different piazze, each set up as a bar and also disco-tech. The lights and noise were exciting. People from all around convereged on the town at night. I was able to go Friday and Saturday night and the parade on Sunday. Saturday was by far the wilder and more intense party; every one was revved up from the night before. The train to Bellinzona was standing room only and it seemed like the only way to move was to crowd surf. It was rowdy, and almost every one was drunk or high, or on their way to that point. It wasn't entirely comfortable, but by the end of the ride, breathing in second hand pot fumes, and the energy of the crowd, had made it seem a little more fun. In order to get into Downtown we had to walk through a gate, just to make sure we paid, and then we could do almost anything. The main tent was usually full of the teens, and younger adults, music blasted out from huge speakers, and the only way to move was with the crowd, or conga line. It was a fun night.... We left early, around 1, the celebration went on through the night, but we had a train to catch. On Sunday there was a parade to close the festivities. I think that the parade was my favorite event of the whole weekend. It was full of floats, each with a theme or issue. A lot was about the enviornment, some I couldn't really figure out, some where just funny. Each city and town in the area also had a band in the parade. They were all amazing, the themes of each band was either a play on words with their names, or a issue that they wanted to draw attention to. Their costumes were elaborate, with bright colors, masks, or face paint. Confetti was the over reaching prop of the parade. The crowd threw confetti at the people in the parade, while the floats and bands sprayed confetti over the crowd. The kids seemed to take some vicious delight in getting it in the faces of the people marching past. I had lots of fun, I was able to make friend with a little bee that was standing in front of me. We formed a kind of alliance were I would gather some confetti, and she would throw it at some one, or more often than not throw it back at me. She made it that much more fun.
Before the parade I was able to go to mass at the local church. It was an interesting experience. I couldn't understand everything that was being said, because it was in Italian, and I wasn't comfortable actually taking communion, but it was good to be there. I could pick out some words, but for the most part it was just me meditating on God's work in my life up to that point. It was really relaxing, and refreshing. Next weekend is Venice, and then the Italian trip, so I don't know when I'll be able to go again. It will be an adventure as always.

Berne

The program directors here at CESA decided that we as a group would probably not make it out to the capital of Switzerland, and its really something we shouldn't miss. About two weeks into our semester the CLAHS students were taken for a weekend trip to Berne.Its about 5 hours away from Riva, and in a completely different Canton. Ticino, the canton that Riva is part of is the only Canton in Switzerland that speaks Italian, the one that we went to was one of the many German speaking cantons, so our Italian classes were of very little help. We started off early Friday morning, almost leaving a few people behind on the way out of town. The day went by quickly as I slept most of the ride, I have no idea why but I tend to fall asleep very well in motor vehicles. I was able to stay awake enough to watch the landscape change, and also the architecture. One of the ways to get from Ticino to Berne involves one of the longest underground tunnels in Europe, and the change from one part of the country to another is interesting to see. When we got to Berne we had about an hour to get settled in and then we had a quick tour of the old town, and then were taken to the Einstein Haus. Einstein lived in Berne for 7 years and they were able to take one of the apartments that he lived in and turn it into a museum. It was interesting to see where one of the greatest minds of our time was living, one of the most astonishing things was that he only lived there about a year, and just thinking about how the family moved in and out of that house was impressive, the staircase was intimidating. After the Einstein haus we were allowed to just wander about for a while. That night I went out with some of the group, it was a fun, late night. On Saturday Eva (our Italian teacher)walked our group around the Old town. We visited the Berne cathedral which was really interesting, because the church went through an iconoclasm(destruction of images and statues) when the Reformation swept through Europe. Sadly for me, my camera battery died almost as soon as we got into the church so I wasn't able to take many pictures. Wandering through the cathedral was very peaceful, I always love going into old churches, but some of these place are so spectacular that sometimes it overwhelms you. This one wasn't as busy, or crowded so it was an nice change of pace. Leaving the Cathedral we walked across the river to the bear pit. Bears are very closely associated with Berne, in fact there are bears all over the city, on the man-hole covers, as statues on public fountains, and live ones in the bear pit. At the visitor center we were treated to a interactive show about the history of Berne that was actually quite funny and enjoyable. The teacher lead tour ended there, and after giving us a list of places they wanted us to see the teachers cut us loose again. I walked to the History Museum of Berne, it was across town, but it was a nice walk. The museum was really interesting, it had sections on the history of Berne, ancient Asian culture, and a special exhibit on the life of Albert Einstein. I actually think that the entrance into that section was my favorite part of the museum. The entrance was a darkened staircase that is surrounded by mirrors, images from Einstein's life were displayed on screens while violin music plays. Its very interesting, and even moving.... peaceful. After the museum I decided to just wandered around the old town, and walking through the street market that was going on that day. There also was a protest, or rally of some sort going on, so there were a lot of police around in riot gear, it was an interesting experience. Sunday morning we left Berne and Started back toward the Villa. We stopped at a town called Thun(tOOn) on the way back. It was built by the same man that founded Berne, and is actually up river to Berne. The water locks that Thun has across the river help control the water level for the cities downriver, and helps prevent flooding. It was very beautiful and because it was Sunday, it was very peaceful as well. Getting back to Riva was a wonderful thing. As much as I love traveling, it was only out first weekend here and so I was happy to have a little time to relax after a busy weekend.

Into the Wild Blue Yonder

Today was my first full day in Riva, although it feels like I've been here for ever, at least getting here felt like it took forever. The school sent almost every one on the same flights, so we could travel as a group. The first flight was from Dulles to London Heathrow. It was about 7 hours in the air, but it was good. We got to London at 6 in the morning, and waited around for three hours to get onto our connecting flight to Milan. I think the waiting was the worst part. The plane was delayed, and so we arrived almost a hour late. Bus took us to Riva, about 45 minutes away from Riva, I was able to sleep, which was good. It was raining, so I didn't get to see much of Riva but what I saw was pretty, and quaint. That last few hours before I passed out in bed were slightly hazy because I had been up for about 24 hours, but I remember the food was good, ceilings decorated, bed comfortable and warm and Villa Maderni as generally beautiful, cold but lovely.
This morning my roommates alarms woke me up in time for breakfast, but I felt like I could have slept for a few more hours. I was able to look out the window and even though it was still raining the view was breathtaking. The Villa faces a road and another Villa across the street, and behind that a the mountains rise up like a wall that touches the sky. Beautiful and intimidating, yet so close its hard to realize what they are unless you concentrate. The main portion of the day was taken up with being introduced to the villa, taught the rules, and talking about how activities are set up. We were given time to walk around the town, most of the group walked to the grocery store and back, it was still miserable so there was no real follow up on the urge to explore. Tomorrow looks to be nicer so hopefully I'll have time to walk through, and explore a little more.
The Villa is very nice, most of the ceilings are decorated with murals of some sort, except on the top floor and the lounge. The Villa was built in 1750, so its like living in one of those historic houses, we have to be careful to wear shoes or slippers in the house, so no bare feet. I thought I would mind as I don't usually like wearing shoes too much, but its been so cold in the villa that I'm kinda glad to be wearing slippers and socks. my favorite room in the house so far is the rec room/lounge. Its on the first floor and has the largest fireplace that I have ever seen, It probably was the kitchen at one point but has been taken over by comfortable couches and chairs, books and games. We have discovered one problem with the room though, when there is a fire in the fire place it gets really smoky, and a window as to be opened. So the room gets really cold, even with the fire and the whole house smells like burning wood.
For th most part the fact that I am in Switzerland and am living here for longer than a week is unreal to me. I have moments were I sit back and say wow, there is no way I am really here. I feel like I'm dreaming, and I'll wake up back at Tech. I'm so excited to start experiencing and exploring. It's going to be an interesting semester, I can tell.

I give thanks

I have been reminded a lot these past weeks that I need to be thankful "grateful" for what I have been given, and what I have been blessed with. That seems to be really hard for me lately. So here is a list of what I am thankful for.

My Family
---Mom, Dad, Sis and Bro--These people have been there for me through everything, and even if I'm scared to tell them how badly I've screwed something up, I know that after the initial outburst, eventually they'll forgive me.
--- My Grandmother(all my grands, but her in particular)-- My Grandfather recently passed away, and it has been hard on all of my family, but especially her. She misses him so much and I'm thankful for her example of love and courage.

My Friends
---The Musketeers--Who even though they feel so far away right now I know I can count on them to bring me fun, adventure and best of all the most amazing company. I miss these chicas more than ever right now, but I know that eventually we'll get together.
---At School--Who deal with me on a regular basis, have learned to put up with my craziness and even knocked me down a notch or two, talked me down off my ledges, and allowed me to meltdown when I needed to. I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done with out you.
---Out of Sight--I know we don't get to see each other often(duh)and our communication is pretty much once every blue moon(usually internet), but I am so joyful that I got to know you, share part of my life with you and learn from you. There has been so much that we haven't been able to share, but that's how things worked out. Not everything can be perfect, and we can't hold on to old friends forever, but when I do hear from you, you bring me such joy.

Just random thanks:
---My brother has a job.
---Sara is having a baby.
---Suzanne is getting married.
---My life could be worse.
---So could my grades.
---The universe is not fair.(I am very thankful for that)
---Grace is not fair.


Who do people thank if they don't believe in God?

words can not express

This week has turned into one of the hardest I've had to deal with yet. I'm not sure how to talk about what happened here, or how to express my feelings about it. I feel like I am detached from the whole ordeal, like I'm watching from outside, and really only have distant sympathy for those involved. And then I feel violated, my home, my campus, my family has been raped. Both these feelings come in waves, and in between I feel normal, like Monday didn't happen. I am sad, but I understand that this will change, and I can't feel sad any more. I understand that God had his plan in this, but I can't see it right now, He was there, He is in everything, but I don't see the sense in this. I didn't know any one who died, I had class with a few of them, but never knew them. It's been a hard week for me, and I'm not dealing with nearly as much as others. Thursday I went to UVA to hang out, relax, and just think. It was a good trip, I think it made what happened a little less distant. I don't understand everything that has been going on this week, and even this year. I'm worried about school, I haven't been able to concentrate on work much this week and I have a lot to do to finish out the semester with good grades. It's been good to be back on campus and talk with people, see how they are dealing with this. I don't think anything will ever be the same again here, or for the classes that were here when it happened. I feel for the Freshmen here, they have had on hell of a year, slightly symmetrical in character, but that doesn't make it easier, especially because they haven't really laid down deep roots here yet. It makes me sad to think that some student who might have come to Tech will decide not to because of what has happened. Classes start tomorrow which I am glad about, and also anxious, I still have to decide how I am going to finish this semester. We'll see how tomorrow goes and then decide. Please continue to pray for the Faculty, Staff and students as we all continue to attempt to deal with what has happened. Through God's strength "we will prevail." We are Virginia Tech.

4 16 VT

Its really hard to know where to begin, or what to say. I've had one song going through my head during this whole time. Its one of my favorite RUF hymns that I've done.

1. For all the saints,
who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith
before the world confessed,
Thy Name, O Jesus,
be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

2. Thou wast their rock,
their fortress and their might;
Thou, Lord, their captain
in the well fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness
drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

3. O may Thy soldiers,
faithful, true and bold,
Fight as the saints
who nobly fought of old,
And win with them
the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

4. And when the strife
is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear
the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave,
again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

5. The golden evening
brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful
warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm
of paradise the blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Edit: 4/27/07

JR had us sing this song at the last RUF large group of the semester. I cried, it was wonderful, and embarrassing all at the same time. Oh and Congratulations to Corey and Ryan our music team grads!!

Spring Break

So, I've been back at Tech for two weeks. Spring Break was amazing. I went to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi with a group of RUF kids. We stayed at a church there called Lagniappe Presbyterian Church. We worked on a house about 10-15 minutes from the church. We did the roof, the whole group,there were about twenty-five of us, it was a large roof. The work was hard, and also slightly mindless. There were points when more than half of us had nothing to do because of some of the things that the roof needed. This trip felt different from the others. Maybe because this trip there were less people there that I knew, it might have been the place where we were, it was different. more like a camp and less like a church. This it felt weird and slightly uncomfortable and yet I still enjoyed myself a lot. The people that went were wonderful, it was fun to hang out with them and to work with them. The lady we worked for was very sweet, her daughter and her grandsons were all planning on moving back into the house by August. Hopefully that will happen for them. We weren't able to finish the roof, which was unsatisfying, but I know that anther group has probably already finished it. I guess the trip wasn't what I was expecting, and that makes me dissatisfied with it, but I can also say that it was an awesome time with a lot of good memories.

Psalm 107:23-32

There is always a new begining

Back to school blues coming on this weekend. I'm not sure what to expect from this year. I hope to be busy and study hard, but I can't help but feel that this semester will be just like the last, crazy full of drama and me not doing anything at all. there is no fear of me being very lazy. I have two early morning shifts at work so I'm going to be changing my sleeping habits again. hopefully working out every day, and getting in some serious just me time. I don't like being alone much, but I realized this break how much I missed being able to just curl up and read a book, or dancing around. So hopefully I'll be able to get books from the library and get away from my room a little more often. I'm also hopefully going to visit that crazy group of UVA kids this semester. And Mississippi! I'm really excited about that! I can't wait to get back down there again. It also gives me an excuse to go work-clothes shopping, I think I want a pair of overalls for this trip. but I'm just getting worked up about it so I think I'll stop. I've got 15 credits this semester, they all look to be interesting classes, and I hope to enjoy myself immensely. I think that the biggest change for me this semester is that I'm not in choir(I've been in choir since Freshman year) it's not going to be easy being out of that class, but I feel like a break is a good idea. I'm also looking forward to beginning the next semester of RUF, there is always something interesting or fun to do with the RUF crew. Lots of stuff to do and to try, and hopefully I'll be able to stay focused and have a great semester.

The Twelve Days

Just got home from a crazy three day trip to visit the family in Maryland. It was great to see the relatives again, my cousin's kids are so cute! I'll link pictures here later, but wow are they an amazing bunch of kids. They don't really fuss, at all. we drove up on Tuesday morning, it was a nice relaxing drive, with the rest of my family. I slept a lot, and read a bit and listened to music, it was good. We stayed in a little cheap hotel that was actually fairly nice, despite having no shampoo(I packed light). We had dinner my Aunt and Uncle's house. YUMMY! We stayed there talking and playing Apples to Apples late. My cousin Greg has been gone for the past three years in the Peace Corp, so it was a really fun time talking to him and getting reaquainted with him and meeting his new dog, Moby. Jen and I had our own room at the Hotel and so we stayed up late, oops!! Wednesday was opening presents day. It was so much fun, the kids were hilarious, so fun to watch. After that everybody just did their own thing for a few hours. We had dinner at my Grandparents place, very nice and delicious. It was a good night all around. Today we went to Breakfast at this family-owned farmers market type place, that was good. We spent the morning with the family, ate lunch and played with the kids, then we left. Th ride home was longer than it should have been, we were all grumpy and tired by the end. But it was a great few days... I'm glad to be home though.

Today

watched part of my Christmas present tonight. I've decided that Grey's Anatomy is not to be watched without someone else enjoying it with you. It is too depressing, and emotionally charged for me to be allowed to watch alone. I went to my Doc. appointment today, it was slightly uncomfortable and strange but I did it, finally. I was a little late to work, but got there eventually. We have an ice rink this year, which is fun. I'm going to be working there on Thursday. This is my life, boring normal everyday stuff. I love it, and Hate it all at the same time. I'm in a really weird mood. its not good, I really should get to bed.

Weakness

"I am weak, but the Lord has sought me.I believe but help now my unbelief. I fail and am broken by my continued sinfulness. Have mercy on me, Lord, and grant me favor, for apart from you I can do nothing. Our suffering, our failures,our weaknesses and disappointments all gain an incredible spiritual significance. God never says He'll be glorified in our religious accomplishments. But He does promise that His power will be made perfect in our weakness.(2 Cor 12:9)"

How come this isn't taught more in churches? I haven't heard about this until now. Our weakness makes us more aware of the grace God gives us. I've always thought that as a Christian I have to be strong, not show that I can be wrong or have fault. In order to be a witness to the world I can't show that I am weak, or that I make mistakes. Some bigger than others. How do I over come this ingrained behavior? How do I break down my own walls and show my weaknesses to others? That's a little more vunerability than I'm comfortable in letting people know that much about me, or get that close to me. Last time that didn't turn out so great. To let people get that close, it's not altogether safe. So what do I do?

Intimacy Issues

This makes me laugh.

I love you Mom and Dad. Thank you for your love support and advice, even when sometimes it isn't what I want to hear.

Evanescence

Don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. You want me, Come find me.Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall? Lose it all?So maybe you can remember yourself. Can't keep believing, We're only deceiving ourselves. And I'm sick of the lie, And you're too late.

Don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. You want me, Come find me.Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame. Sick with shame. Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated, No wonder you're jaded. You can't play the victim this time, And you're too late.

Don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. You want me, Come find me.Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober. You only want it cause it's over, It's over.

How could I have burned paradise? How could I - you were never mine.

So don't cry to me. If you loved me, You would be here with me. Don't lie to me, Just get your things.I've made up your mind.

little bit o' this, little bit o' that

I am bored and stuck inside so I decided to update.

Why am I stuck inside you ask? well, since yesterday there has been an escaped inmate, William Morva, on the loose in Blacksburg. The young man shot and killed a hospital security guard and injured the deputy that had accompanied him. The man hunt lasted through the night and this morning Morva shot and killed a deputy sheriff on the Huckleberry Trail. The police responded instantly, evacuating the area along the trail and trying to keep the media and civilians out of harms way. During the morning the police had people calling in sightings of Morva throught the Blacksburg area. Squires Student Center was evacuated and there was a rumor that Morva was inside, however that was untrue. The campus closed down around 10:30, classes were cancelled and students were urged to return to their dorms and remain inside. This is fairly distressing for the first day of classes and I'm hoping that everything is sorted out soon.

All of this Past

Here I go again Slipping further away Letting go again Of what keeps me in place I like it here But it scares me to death There is nothing here The light is beautiful But I’m darker than light And you are wonderful But this moment is mine All of this dust All of this past All of this over and gone And never coming back All of this forgotten Not by me I find comfort here Cos I know what is lost Hope is always fear For the pain it may cost And I have searched for the reason to go on I’ve tried and I’ve tried But it’s taking me so long I might be better off Closing my eyes And God will come looking for me In time All of this dust All of this past All of this over and gone And never coming back All of this forgotten Not by me All of this dust All of this past All of this over and gone And never coming back All of this forgotten Not by me I can see myself I look peaceful and pale But underneath I can barely inhale I can hear myself singing that song Over and over until it belongs to me