I give thanks

I have been reminded a lot these past weeks that I need to be thankful "grateful" for what I have been given, and what I have been blessed with. That seems to be really hard for me lately. So here is a list of what I am thankful for.

My Family
---Mom, Dad, Sis and Bro--These people have been there for me through everything, and even if I'm scared to tell them how badly I've screwed something up, I know that after the initial outburst, eventually they'll forgive me.
--- My Grandmother(all my grands, but her in particular)-- My Grandfather recently passed away, and it has been hard on all of my family, but especially her. She misses him so much and I'm thankful for her example of love and courage.

My Friends
---The Musketeers--Who even though they feel so far away right now I know I can count on them to bring me fun, adventure and best of all the most amazing company. I miss these chicas more than ever right now, but I know that eventually we'll get together.
---At School--Who deal with me on a regular basis, have learned to put up with my craziness and even knocked me down a notch or two, talked me down off my ledges, and allowed me to meltdown when I needed to. I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done with out you.
---Out of Sight--I know we don't get to see each other often(duh)and our communication is pretty much once every blue moon(usually internet), but I am so joyful that I got to know you, share part of my life with you and learn from you. There has been so much that we haven't been able to share, but that's how things worked out. Not everything can be perfect, and we can't hold on to old friends forever, but when I do hear from you, you bring me such joy.

Just random thanks:
---My brother has a job.
---Sara is having a baby.
---Suzanne is getting married.
---My life could be worse.
---So could my grades.
---The universe is not fair.(I am very thankful for that)
---Grace is not fair.


Who do people thank if they don't believe in God?

words can not express

This week has turned into one of the hardest I've had to deal with yet. I'm not sure how to talk about what happened here, or how to express my feelings about it. I feel like I am detached from the whole ordeal, like I'm watching from outside, and really only have distant sympathy for those involved. And then I feel violated, my home, my campus, my family has been raped. Both these feelings come in waves, and in between I feel normal, like Monday didn't happen. I am sad, but I understand that this will change, and I can't feel sad any more. I understand that God had his plan in this, but I can't see it right now, He was there, He is in everything, but I don't see the sense in this. I didn't know any one who died, I had class with a few of them, but never knew them. It's been a hard week for me, and I'm not dealing with nearly as much as others. Thursday I went to UVA to hang out, relax, and just think. It was a good trip, I think it made what happened a little less distant. I don't understand everything that has been going on this week, and even this year. I'm worried about school, I haven't been able to concentrate on work much this week and I have a lot to do to finish out the semester with good grades. It's been good to be back on campus and talk with people, see how they are dealing with this. I don't think anything will ever be the same again here, or for the classes that were here when it happened. I feel for the Freshmen here, they have had on hell of a year, slightly symmetrical in character, but that doesn't make it easier, especially because they haven't really laid down deep roots here yet. It makes me sad to think that some student who might have come to Tech will decide not to because of what has happened. Classes start tomorrow which I am glad about, and also anxious, I still have to decide how I am going to finish this semester. We'll see how tomorrow goes and then decide. Please continue to pray for the Faculty, Staff and students as we all continue to attempt to deal with what has happened. Through God's strength "we will prevail." We are Virginia Tech.

4 16 VT

Its really hard to know where to begin, or what to say. I've had one song going through my head during this whole time. Its one of my favorite RUF hymns that I've done.

1. For all the saints,
who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith
before the world confessed,
Thy Name, O Jesus,
be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

2. Thou wast their rock,
their fortress and their might;
Thou, Lord, their captain
in the well fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness
drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

3. O may Thy soldiers,
faithful, true and bold,
Fight as the saints
who nobly fought of old,
And win with them
the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

4. And when the strife
is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear
the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave,
again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

5. The golden evening
brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful
warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm
of paradise the blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Edit: 4/27/07

JR had us sing this song at the last RUF large group of the semester. I cried, it was wonderful, and embarrassing all at the same time. Oh and Congratulations to Corey and Ryan our music team grads!!

Spring Break

So, I've been back at Tech for two weeks. Spring Break was amazing. I went to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi with a group of RUF kids. We stayed at a church there called Lagniappe Presbyterian Church. We worked on a house about 10-15 minutes from the church. We did the roof, the whole group,there were about twenty-five of us, it was a large roof. The work was hard, and also slightly mindless. There were points when more than half of us had nothing to do because of some of the things that the roof needed. This trip felt different from the others. Maybe because this trip there were less people there that I knew, it might have been the place where we were, it was different. more like a camp and less like a church. This it felt weird and slightly uncomfortable and yet I still enjoyed myself a lot. The people that went were wonderful, it was fun to hang out with them and to work with them. The lady we worked for was very sweet, her daughter and her grandsons were all planning on moving back into the house by August. Hopefully that will happen for them. We weren't able to finish the roof, which was unsatisfying, but I know that anther group has probably already finished it. I guess the trip wasn't what I was expecting, and that makes me dissatisfied with it, but I can also say that it was an awesome time with a lot of good memories.

Psalm 107:23-32

There is always a new begining

Back to school blues coming on this weekend. I'm not sure what to expect from this year. I hope to be busy and study hard, but I can't help but feel that this semester will be just like the last, crazy full of drama and me not doing anything at all. there is no fear of me being very lazy. I have two early morning shifts at work so I'm going to be changing my sleeping habits again. hopefully working out every day, and getting in some serious just me time. I don't like being alone much, but I realized this break how much I missed being able to just curl up and read a book, or dancing around. So hopefully I'll be able to get books from the library and get away from my room a little more often. I'm also hopefully going to visit that crazy group of UVA kids this semester. And Mississippi! I'm really excited about that! I can't wait to get back down there again. It also gives me an excuse to go work-clothes shopping, I think I want a pair of overalls for this trip. but I'm just getting worked up about it so I think I'll stop. I've got 15 credits this semester, they all look to be interesting classes, and I hope to enjoy myself immensely. I think that the biggest change for me this semester is that I'm not in choir(I've been in choir since Freshman year) it's not going to be easy being out of that class, but I feel like a break is a good idea. I'm also looking forward to beginning the next semester of RUF, there is always something interesting or fun to do with the RUF crew. Lots of stuff to do and to try, and hopefully I'll be able to stay focused and have a great semester.