words can not express

This week has turned into one of the hardest I've had to deal with yet. I'm not sure how to talk about what happened here, or how to express my feelings about it. I feel like I am detached from the whole ordeal, like I'm watching from outside, and really only have distant sympathy for those involved. And then I feel violated, my home, my campus, my family has been raped. Both these feelings come in waves, and in between I feel normal, like Monday didn't happen. I am sad, but I understand that this will change, and I can't feel sad any more. I understand that God had his plan in this, but I can't see it right now, He was there, He is in everything, but I don't see the sense in this. I didn't know any one who died, I had class with a few of them, but never knew them. It's been a hard week for me, and I'm not dealing with nearly as much as others. Thursday I went to UVA to hang out, relax, and just think. It was a good trip, I think it made what happened a little less distant. I don't understand everything that has been going on this week, and even this year. I'm worried about school, I haven't been able to concentrate on work much this week and I have a lot to do to finish out the semester with good grades. It's been good to be back on campus and talk with people, see how they are dealing with this. I don't think anything will ever be the same again here, or for the classes that were here when it happened. I feel for the Freshmen here, they have had on hell of a year, slightly symmetrical in character, but that doesn't make it easier, especially because they haven't really laid down deep roots here yet. It makes me sad to think that some student who might have come to Tech will decide not to because of what has happened. Classes start tomorrow which I am glad about, and also anxious, I still have to decide how I am going to finish this semester. We'll see how tomorrow goes and then decide. Please continue to pray for the Faculty, Staff and students as we all continue to attempt to deal with what has happened. Through God's strength "we will prevail." We are Virginia Tech.

4 16 VT

Its really hard to know where to begin, or what to say. I've had one song going through my head during this whole time. Its one of my favorite RUF hymns that I've done.

1. For all the saints,
who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith
before the world confessed,
Thy Name, O Jesus,
be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

2. Thou wast their rock,
their fortress and their might;
Thou, Lord, their captain
in the well fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness
drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

3. O may Thy soldiers,
faithful, true and bold,
Fight as the saints
who nobly fought of old,
And win with them
the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

4. And when the strife
is fierce, the warfare long,
Steals on the ear
the distant triumph song,
And hearts are brave,
again, and arms are strong.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

5. The golden evening
brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful
warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm
of paradise the blessed.
Alleluia, Alleluia!

Edit: 4/27/07

JR had us sing this song at the last RUF large group of the semester. I cried, it was wonderful, and embarrassing all at the same time. Oh and Congratulations to Corey and Ryan our music team grads!!